9 Jun 2009 :: Mundayz
I figured that Monday morning was not going to be fun- I worked until 11 and I had to be at work again by 8. However, I did not plan on waking up at five with my body wanting to see how many orifices could gush liquid in a two hour span, which ended up being three- though it took 1:45 to get to the third stage.
For whatever reason my body seems particularly unlikely to throw up in any circumstance. So the first seven or eight runs to the bathroom to fill the toilet with butt curry were punctuated by moments when I thought I might throw up, which was essentially a repeated test to see how quickly I could wipe, flush the toilet and turn around for the inevitable nothing.
Sometime close to seven I tired of this and decided the only way to enjoy myself in the near future would be to induce it manually, so I tentatively shoved a meaty hand towards the back of the throat and found that I do have a gag reflex, only to have the vomiting foiled by a ripping sensation in my stomach that left me curled on the bathroom floor crying for a few minutes.
Then I started to vomit. I had a fifteen minute gag fest in which I threw up until there was nothing left to chuck and then I threw up some more. At this point my whole body was bathed in cold sweat, so I went in to work, managed to kill two hours before heading home and lying on my bed for the next twenty-four hours.
I feel fairly decent now. |
