28 Dec 2008  ::  Personal Hygiene
I'm pretty basic with my personal hygiene. I shower at least once a day, I scrub down with soap and lots of hot water. I brush and floss frequently and I'm not shy with the application of antiperspirant. I don't comb or brush my hair and I get haircuts and shave only when I must. Plus I bike everywhere, so my body odor is funkier than I'd like and my back has feathery adornments.

One thing I try to keep in check that goes beyond this, is pulling nasal hairs. I don't really have a great technique at this juncture. Typically I'll run my finger under my nostrils and see if they encounter any obstacles. If they do, I begin an invasive exercise on my nose.

I try to clamp as many hairs as possible between the fingernail of my thumb and my forefinger. The first round of plucking usually involves a quiet moment before the pull to steel my nerves in preparation for the quick jolt of pain and the round of sneezing that is sure to follow. Success is judged by the amount of plumage removed between my fingers.

Disturbingly, my nose hairs have kicked their growth up a notch recently, subjecting my nostrils to a flurry of plucking, sneezing, mild pain and constant snuffling.

If it is this bad at 27, I am not looking forward to 45.

just be thankful the hairs are still mostly on the INSIDE of your nose. You're old when you have to pluck them off the outside.

Comment added on 29 Dec 2008 by Hairy Kev Kev

Thanks to this blog I dreamt that my nose hairs were wildly out of control.

Comment added on 29 Dec 2008 by Emily

You just need to break down and get one of them $10 nose hair trimmers from Bed Bath & Beyond, it's in the Beyond department. I tried the pulling thing for a while... trust me it's not worth it, it's only going to get worse. On a related note I went to college with a guy named Andy Jones who had copious amounts of nose hair that would curl around the outside of his nostrils. Ever since Kristy and I lovingly refer to such hairs as "Andy Jones", and I'm a bad person.

PS. I hate to break this to you Emily, but it's not just a dream.

Comment added on 29 Dec 2008 by Jeremy

Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?!? I'm so humiliated.

Comment added on 30 Dec 2008 by Emily

Good work, Paul. Most men don't tend to this.

However, may I recommend a pair of scissors? They make them specially for trimming hair.

Also, Emily's first comment means that Paul wins the internet today.

Comment added on 30 Dec 2008 by reed

You know, I am really sad that Sharper Image went out of business- they had a wonderfully useful ouch-proof nose-hair clipper. Too bad we didn't invest.

Comment added on 4 Jan 2009 by Fox